José Henrique Lamensdorf - translation - tradução

The GOLD links is an area where I give exclusive recognition to my best frequent clients, with whom I had the privilege of working as a team many times over several years. Their presence here is not something sudden nor based on chance, and certainly not obtainable on request. It is the result of a solid relationship fostered over time.

Note: Absolutely no discredit intended to my good - but less frequent - clients.

The SILVER group is reserved for link exchange. They point to sites of people or organizations with whom I exchanged something that interested me: a product, a service, a referral. It is some kind of recommendation from me.

It may include some clients who are candidates to the GOLD group, whose frequency hasn't yet reached the eligibility requirements.

The BRONZE group is intended for paid advertising, the area in my web site available for lease. Though appearance here does not imply an endorsement from me, it means that I checked and found nothing ethically reproachable on these web sites.

Before anyone asked me "why not?" , I created this area. If you are interested in having your link here, please contact me using the e-mail button on the left, for the terms and conditions.

The BLACK LIST is the place where nobody likes to appear, at least I hope so. It is reserved for clients and vendors that give me some pleasure from not keeping me updated, and eventually losing contact.

There are some ways to get listed here. As a client, the first - and indispensable - requirement is to hire me for some job. Once this has been done, there will be some actions to take, and each of them will increase your chances of appearing here. Some of them are:

Bargain for prices from the very outset - Try to convince me that you really think my estimate is dishonest, that I'm trying to rip you off. Make a big squeal about a few pennies, even if the text you sent me to translate is a business agreement indicating how many million dollars you'll profit from it. Say that your "usual" translators accept half my rates (but don't let me know that it's the reason why they are always too busy to serve you).

Disguise the job complexity - If it's a job that nobody else wanted to take because it's too complex or tiresome, say that it's a piece of cake, that anyone could do it, but that you liked me for whatever reason, and want to grant me the privilege of doing it.

Impose an unnecessarily short deadline - If the material is explicitly for next month, demand it for tomorrow, for the most farfetched reasons you can think of. Otherwise, make it obvious that all the material was ready two weeks ago or more, and that you wasted all this time searching for someone cheaper to do it.

Hold the material and keep me standing by indefinitely - Tell me that I'll need all my available time, but you'll only be able to send it tomorrow, because it's being reviewed. Tomorrow, say that some changes are being made, so it will be early next week. Next week, say that some major changes will require a few more days. Finally, when you run out of excuses, cancel the project if you can.

Put me in contact with your hardware - Don't send me the material with specific instructions. Instead, send me wrong instructions on how to login to your FTP site. After I have tried several times and given up, apologize, and send the proper... but nonspecific instructions. Instead of telling me where are the files I should download, have me rummage your FTP site until I find them. If I have any questions, don't answer by e-mail yourself; just send system-generated replies with links where I should be able to search and find the answers.

Change instructions all the time - While I'm working on it, tell me not to do something you ordered (and that I've done already), and ask for other things instead. Of course you want to trade one for the other, so you won't be paying for the work I'll be discarding.

After I have finished and delivered - Send me some supplements or changes for me to do - at no additional charge, of course - with maximum urgency. If you can, take a while before "noticing" that I've sent you everything you ordered.

After I'm done, try negotiating price - Any excuse will do. Say that I don't have Trados (that I'd certainly never say I had). Say that some micro-layout work will be necessary, even if it was never requested. Invent whatever you can.

Try to extend the payment term - Invent reasons (even frivolous ones - you will take/just took a cruise on the Caribbean) for your being unable to pay on the mutually agreed date. Otherwise, don't even mention them: simply don't pay, to see what I'll do about it.

Change the agreed payment method - If we agreed that you would pay me via PayPal, when it's due mail me a check... possibly with my name misspelled on it. In this meantime, try not responding promptly to my e-mails, stall as much as you can.

After having done all these, don't forget to argue that your company thrives on integrity, that all such mishaps are not common, trying to convince that your presence in this BLACK LIST and others of the kind is undeserved.